Then and Now
by rosekatxo
Summary: It's been 7 years since they first met, and both Jac and Jasmine are struggling with the memory of that day.


**A/N: first off, I'm SO sorry I haven't updated Protection recently! I do have more ideas to continue that, plus I have a couple of other oneshot ideas from the past few eps (last week's sisterly banter in particular made me v happy!) but I just do not have the time right now. I have 4 weeks left of uni and almost every waking hour is spent on my dissertation/essays, I can't afford to focus on anything else : ( but I will definitely be updating/posting a lot more frequently as soon as I'm done!**

 **Also, this was v rushed so apologies if it's an absolute mess but I've been feeling inspired all week and finally found an hour's break where I could work on something. Then I saw on twitter that today is 7 years since Jac and Jasmine met for the first time, and somehow this just came spilling out. Again, sorry it's short and sorry if it's awful because it was rushed but I just wanted to a) get it out of my head and b) give you guys something. I hope this makes up a little bit for the lack of posts, and I promise I'll be back once finals are over!**

 **Please let me know what you think/any other ideas you'd like me to write once I have the time x**

Jasmine had spent the entire day distracted. She'd barely seen Jac since their shifts had started first thing that morning – the consultant had arrived five minutes late, scowl etched on her face and clearly in a bad mood. She'd already heard her snapping Zosia's head off once, and everybody on Darwin was doing their utmost to avoid her, made easier by the fact the ice queen had stormed off and locked herself in her office around an hour ago. Although it was never fun when Jac was in one of those moods, her colleagues had learnt over the years to let her get on with it without prying. The only one who usually made any attempt to talk to her at times like this was Mo; although the redhead liked to pretend she was annoyed by her friend's interference, everybody knew the two were closer than Jac would ever admit, hence Mo understood her enough to get through to her.

But Mo wasn't here today. And even if she had been, she wouldn't have been much help because there were only two people in existence who knew the real reason Jac was acting out today. One of those people, of course, was the woman herself. And the other? Jasmine.

It had been 7 years to the day since the sisters had first met, an encounter neither of them would forget. In hindsight, there really was no wonder their relationship had been so fraught and messed up – the blonde was sure both of them would jump at the chance to go back and redo that first day, and everything that followed. It had been awful for her, finally getting to meet the big sister she'd idolised since before she could talk only to be rejected what felt like heartlessly. But if she'd found the day painful, she couldn't imagine how Jac had felt. She couldn't imagine the shock: first of finding out Paula was going to leave her again, then that their granddad was in fact still alive, and finally discovering the sister she never knew she had. Although they hadn't spoken about it much, Jasmine knew that day was the day Jac had snapped. She'd been changed forever by the heartbreak. Back then Jasmine hadn't really understood, had felt hurt and confused and angry, but now she got it. Now she realised how hard it had all been for Jac, and to be honest she didn't know how she'd got through it.

The blonde knew the memory of that day was why her sister was acting weird today, because she was feeling it too. She'd been distracted and jittery all morning – the anniversary of their meeting had always affected her, but after the events of the past few months she was even more out of sorts today. Part of her wondered if she should just leave Jac to it; she was used to dealing with things alone, and Jasmine didn't want to cause any more awkwardness between the two, not now things were finally settling down. But she couldn't just sit by, knowing her sister was probably struggling even more than herself and doing nothing about it. Jac may have been used to handling those emotions alone, but she didn't have to any more. They were in it together.

Jasmine headed back up to Darwin, two cups of coffee and a blueberry muffin precariously balanced in her hands. She couldn't deny the flutter of nerves in the pit of her stomach – even though she and Jac were getting on much better these days (she'd even go as far as to say they were friendly), there was always that niggle in the back of her mind that she'd be disappointed again. Especially on days like this, where she knew the memories were taunting them both. But she decided it was a risk worth taking if she wanted to show the redhead that she cared.

Reaching the consultants' office, the blonde took a deep breath before tentatively knocking on the door, desperately trying not to drop everything. "Yes?" came an impatient voice from the other side of the door. Jasmine pushed open the door with as much force as she could muster, causing the redhead to look up from her desk and roll her eyes slightly.

"Oh, it's you," she sighed.

The younger woman edged closer to the desk, not-so-gracefully plonking down the takeaway cups before pushing one towards her sister. "Um, I saw you were late this morning and figured you didn't have time for coffee so I thought I'd bring you one. And I'm on my break, so I thought I might join you… If that's ok?' She silently prayed that Jac wouldn't refuse her offer.

The redhead stared at her for a few seconds before nodding. "Fine," she said, taking a large gulp of her drink before sighing in satisfaction. Jasmine smiled to herself; it was going well so far. She shifted back into her seat, picking up her own coffee and watched as Jac split the muffin in half, taking one herself and offering the other to the blonde who gladly accepted. The two sat in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes, and surprisingly it was Jac who spoke first.

'So, seeing as everyone else thinks I'm living up to my bitch role today and you're the only one brave enough to venture in here, I take it you remember what day it is,' she pursed her lips, causing the smile to vanish from Jasmine's lips.

"Well, yeah," the blonde shrugged. "I don't think either of us are going to forget that day in a hurry, are we?' Jac raised her eyebrows in agreement. "I guess not," she murmured, reverting her gaze to the cup in her hand. Jasmine watched her sister, toying with her words before she spoke next.

"Look, I know we're not ready to talk about all of it yet Jac, but I just want you to know that I don't hold anything that happened back then against you. I know how much of a shock it must've been, and I honestly don't blame you for reacting that way," she spoke quietly, willing her sister to meet her gaze. There was a beat of silence before the redhead responded.

"I spent years blaming you, Jasmine," she confessed. "Years and years blaming you for taking my mother away once more, wishing you never existed, not understanding why she needed you and not me. But I realise now that none of it was ever your fault. You didn't ask to be born any more than I did, you didn't ask to be Paula's daughter. I just wish I'd realised it sooner." She looked up.

Jasmine felt a surge of pride and relief at the words she'd heard. Knowing Jac had started to let go of the pain and anger she'd felt towards her for so many years meant they were finally getting somewhere. She'd been holding onto it for far too long already, and Jasmine knew it had caused Jac herself more pain than Jasmine had ever felt. Smiling gently, she looked into her sister's eyes, finding them full of sorrow and regret.

"Jac, honestly, it's ok. It's understandable that you felt that way, I get it. I'm just glad we're getting there," she reassured the older woman, who broke eye contact.

"I just wish we both weren't so bloody stubborn. All that time…" Jac sighed.

"Takes one to know one," Jasmine teased, causing the redhead to smile (well, smirk) for the first time that day. "Yes, a lot of time has passed, and I think we both regret the way things worked out. But that's not important any more. We are where we are, and all that matters is that we're here now." Tentatively, she reached across and placed her hand over Jac's, relieved when her sister didn't push her away.

"Yes, I suppose we are," Jac agreed gently. 7 years ago, she'd never have dreamed she'd be sitting in her office sharing a muffin with her little sister. She'd never have believed things could work out for them. But she was beginning to realise that maybe they could find a way through, after all.


End file.
